Posted by: peanutbutteryelleytime | April 1, 2009

in which yelley knits a hat and wonders why everyone’s brain doesn’t work like hers

So this is where I lure you in with a picture of my recent knitting.

This is the Porom hat, designed by Jared Flood. Normally I am not one to buy patterns, but I will make exceptions for Jared’s work, since his patterns are so wonderfully written and it’s easier to decrease in cables or lace work when someone else has already done all the calculating for you. It will be for my sister, The Mer, who is so damn cool that she has her own article. (By article I mean the word “the”… you all remember your 3rd grade grammar lessons, yes?) She asked me for a light summer slouchy hat, so I gave her my ravelry log-in information and told her to choose a pattern. It took her all of one minute to find this one… she may not be a knitter, but she does have good taste in knitwear. The pattern calls for a DK weight wool, but I did this one using a little more than one skein of Knit Picks Risata, a cotton wool blend sock yarn. The fabric is a bit loose at this gauge, but it makes the hat lighter and slouchier, I think. Hopefully not too slouchy, though…

And now since you read all that about my knitting, you’re going to keep on reading the rest too, right?

So I guess I should clarify something first, since it has caused some confusion; when I say “the boy” or “my boy” I am referring to my boyfriend, not my child. I do not have any children. I do not plan on having any children for quite a while. I am still practically a child myself, and I have the boy to take care of. He is the main subject of the rest of this post, and though I know he will read it and maybe be a bit irked by it I will say it anyway because it really isn’t news to him at all.

Sometimes I just cannot understand what goes on in his head that makes him think it is okay to do some of the things that he does. A somewhat recent example. Not too long ago, he was making me ramen noodles for breakfast. (Nevermind that ramen noodles are not really an appropriate breakfast. That is entirely not the point here.) He finished preparing the soup and poured it into a bowl. That he was holding in his hand. Over the open dishwasher. You see where I’m going with this. Seconds later the boy’s hand is under cold water, burned by hot soup, the bowl is upside down on the dishwasher door, and my breakfast is in the dishwasher food trap. Somewhere in my feelings of guilt that he got burned while making me breakfast, I couldn’t help but think that it was really his own fault for not having the sense to put the bowl on the counter before pouring boiling hot soup into it. Just saying, is all.

Another example? Okay. Several months ago I asked the boy to help me cook dinner by chopping the carrots. So he peels the carrots, gets out the cutting board, and chooses a knife. He chooses a steak knife. The smallest knife we have, save for the paring knife. I have my back turned, so I don’t see him make the first few cuts, using far more force than should be necessary to slice through the carrots. Okay, so maybe I overreacted when I saw what he was doing and took the knife away from him and told him to go into the living room while I finished things. But really, a steak knife? Why not just use the kitchen scissors to cut the carrots into slices? Because that wouldn’t be dangerous at all. The boy doesn’t help me cook anymore, unless I give him a specific task and the tools to do it with.

So now it might sounds like I think the boy is stupid, which is definitely not the case. We’ve had this discussion before, and it was interesting for me to find out that a sometimes he doesn’t think things through to a few steps in the future, what could happen next if I do this, what could happen after that, that kind of thing. It’s not that he is wrong, you certainly can cut carrots with a steak knife, or with kitchen scissors if you really wanted to, but it is probably not the best way to accomplish the task. And sometimes he can think of a better way to do something than I can because he approaches things from a far different angle than I do. Um… I can’t think of a specific example right now, but I’m sure it has happened.

Besides, he is definitely not stupid. I see stupid all the time and I think i can differentiate between stupid and not stupid. At work today I listened to a woman lament that she wanted to drink tea at work, but couldn’t because there is no hot water dispenser. She said this as she stood near the microwave and looked at the cold water dispenser. I bet the boy could have come up with a way to solve her problem. Maybe some unconventional ways too.


Responses

  1. No, he isn’t stupid in any way shape or form. He is very imaginative, and creative in the way that he approaches everything.

    The Eldest Son also is pretty cool.

  2. Soup hands is a very dangerous condition. I know all about soup hands.

  3. I’ve also gotten in trouble for suggesting process improvements, particularly in the kitchen. Kind of different though, because I was pointing out opportunity for efficiency on an already sound idea.

    Some people just work differently. Some people think it’s a good idea to make grilled cheese by placing the slice of cheese on top of the toaster while the bread is toasting. These people dumbfound me, but I find their approach to life amusing and adorable. It’s worth the price of a toaster just for the story.

  4. Hey, I use steak knives for that. But then again, I use them because I don’t want to chop off a finger with a larger knife because I am that clumsy.


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